There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
vagina is talking i cant
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
