When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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