when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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