She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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