How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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