I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
