Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
