forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize