i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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