You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
