R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
