After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize
