and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
