It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
