Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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