i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize