i don't like sucking hair
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
