Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
