im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
