Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
