Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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