I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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