she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
