Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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