Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
