Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
