yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
