should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
