I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
you never un-have a 4some
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize