I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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