When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize