wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
