Will you blow on my dice?
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize