we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
