Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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