i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
