I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
