having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
