She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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