Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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