we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
