I heard we made out
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
