I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
