I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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