thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
