Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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