There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize