Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
These tits shall not be calmed
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
