whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
