The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
