please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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