If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
