Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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