Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
