I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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