covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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