i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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