I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
