Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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