we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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