I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize