Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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