A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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