Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
