After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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