Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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