The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
