"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
